| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
Be The Chooser
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." -- Khalil Gibran Our life works and can be full of joy when we make effective choices. Our life can be full of sorrow if we make ineffective choices. Chooser vs. Victim As a child, choices were made for me and I had little power over what happened to me. This is normal for children, but when we take this attitude as adults I call it being a "victim" The opposite of being a victim is to be "The Chooser" The concept of choice is remarkable, and that we have choices I consider to be a fact. Though in my life, I've forgotten this fact many times when I was impulsive or reactive. I find it challenging to take responsibility for my failures and pain as being the result of my own choices. I want to blame myboss, my ex-wife, the other driver, my parents; and for awhile I did. I've had many wake-up calls that acting out of ignorance or impulse doesn't absolve me of responsibility for making a bad choice. When I was sixteen, a new driver, and got a ticket for making a U-turn across a double-yellow line I told the cop honestly that I didn't know it was against the law, and felt it grossly unfair that he ticketed me anyway. I fought the ticket in traffic court and lost. My only defense was "I didn't know! I didn't mean to break the law!" The judge told me ignorance was not an excuse for breaking the law. That was one of my first wake-up calls that as an adult, I would be held accountable for my choices even if they were unconscious. Scary thought. We live in a victim culture. It's usually the other guy's fault that we go to war, get into a car accident, lose our money in stocks, get a divorce. While victim-hood might make us feel better and in the right, it also makes us helpless and perpetuates our problems. The Law of Attraction What do you want? A fulfilling life and relationship? A loving family? Success in your work? Peace in the world? I've learned that to get what you want you must BE THE CHOOSER. Being the chooser means taking the initiative to create what you want, taking full responsibility for your outcomes, and making your choices mindful of their long-term consequences. There is a law of the universe as powerful as the law of gravity that helps choosers and brings suffering on victims. It's called the "Law of Attraction." Just like "what goes up must come down;" "what is inside shows up on the outside," "energy follows attention," and "what you believe you can achieve." If you believe you don't have a choice, you won't. If you shove responsibility for your choices and outcomes outside of yourself, the law of attraction will try to teach you to take responsibility by repeating the lesson over and over until you get it. This is the origin of crime, war, and most other sources of human suffering. I want to be happy and fulfilled. I want you to be happy and fulfilled. I've learned that happiness comes from within, by taking responsibility as an adult for my choices and outcomes. I've learned that I need to be "The Chooser" in my life and my heartfelt desire is that I can inspire you to be The Chooser as well. Be The Chooser We have the knowledge and technology to create a wonderful life for ourselves and society for our children. Most of our social problems, such as crime, war, poverty, violence, disease, divorce, homelessness, and more, is the result of ineffective choices. Unfortunately, these social problems will continue as long as people believe they don't have a choice about them. Choosers know what they want and how to get it. In charge of their lives, Choosers take responsibility for what happens. Being a Chooser takes a certain amount of confidence and effort, but anyone can be one! Being The Chooser means taking initiative for your outcomes: you are in charge of creating what you want in life. You do not restrict yourself to what or who chooses you. Very often, we are not aware of the range of choices available to us. We are often unaware of our power to choose, and of the true power of our choices. We might make choices unconsciously, reactively or impulsively. We might be unaware of the long-term consequences of our choices. A.I.M. To Be The Chooser Step 1: Be AWARE that you have choices You are never stuck! You always have choices, even if you don't know what your choices are. Don't allow impulse or lack of information to result in a poor choice. Step 2: IDENTIFY your choices Always assume there are more choices than you are aware of. Seek to identify a variety of the choices available to you, mindful that "you don't know what you don't know." Identify productive choices and don't settle for unproductive choices. Step 3: MAKE productive choices Use all the information available to you to make the best choice possible to achieve the outcome you desire. Evaluate a choice based upon the likely long-term consequences of that choice. If you want to be the Chooser, here are some things you have control over and can DO: - BE CREATIVE: Seek new ideas and opportunities beyond the immediate past and present - BE A RISK TAKER: Accept rejection and failure as part of life, and don't take it personally - BE ASSERTIVE: Ask for what you want, and say "no" to what you don't want - BE PROACTIVE: Don't merely react to events, or habitually wait for things to happen - BE GOAL-ORIENTED: Clearly define and vigorously pursue your goals - ASSUME ABUNDANCE: Believe there will always be plenty of opportunities and resources - BE POSITIVE: Always anticipate success "Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself." -- Senator Robert F. Bennett (R-Utah) ©2005 by Relationship Coaching Network / All rights reserved http://www.relationshipcoachingnetwork.org David Steele, MA, LMFT is Founder and CEO of Relationship Coaching Institute, and author of the upcoming book "Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World" to be published October 2005, from which this article is excerpted. For more information visit http://www.ConsciousDating.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
What You Habitually Think Becomes Attracted to You Are you frustrated with a certain area of your life? Want to make a change? You can change it as soon as you decide to change it.You might say, "It can't be that simple. You Attract What You Are It's been said that, "To attract attractive people, you must be attractive. To attract powerful people, you must be powerful. Once Upon A Time There Was No Money Once in a while a book comes along that can change your way of thinking for the better. A book that free's the mind of its old limitations. Affirm Actions: Stop Lying to Your Soul and Make It Real! I hear of so many people using affirmations as the universal remedy for everything that ails them. They wake up in the morning and verbalize their affirmations. Buying the Myth So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance. Purpose of Choice Tornadic weather threatens southeastern Colorado and life on the plains takes a turn again. Interestingly enough, books are written, movies are made, and life happens while the winds blow and the rains fall. The Power of Focusing on What Vs. How We see it and do it enough times to know just how it works. Resolutions are set, goals written down, strategic action plans put in place. Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today! "If you can see it, you can have it." Is it really so simple? The answer is 'Yes'. Our Fascination with Pop Culture and What It Says About Us I took a look at the top 500 hits on the Internet and found that at least 90% of them are related to pop culture. Who is dating who, singers, actors, gossip, etc. Abundance is a Feeling This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of Michael's loyal Virtual Assistants. Visit her website. Faith Creates Ideas That Create Wealth For years it seems as though the secrets to obtaining wealth were only for a selected few. Yet the truth of the matter is that these "few" have chosen to apply the principles of prosperity (at least most of the principles) in order to obtain their status, while many chose to ignore them. Why Cant You be More Like Me? Here is a non-scientific, but fun way to see which style you may be. Read the poem below and then identify which one of the styles is most like you. Basic Intuitive Timing for Business and Life "There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries." [William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar]It has been said many times that timing is everything. The Modern Geek - Changing the Stereotype The day of duck-taped glasses, suspenders and pocket-protectors are quickly fading away. It's getting harder to pick the geeks out of the crowd. Is There Something Called Free Will The statement ""The concept of free will is a fallacy"" is actually fallacious! How do you live your life? of course you live with free will. You decide what to eat for breakfast, what to wear today and so on. Limited Thought, Limited Experience I was reminded once again the other day about how well we limit ourselves and take on the values of others and their limitations.I was in one of our morning sales meetings and just barely awake trying to concentrate on other things. Change Your Story; Change Your Life When was the last time you told someone the story of your life? We don't come upon these opportunities often, but when we do, it's extremely telling not only about our perspective on life, but also about how the rest of our life will unfold! Who said crystal balls don't exist? Just listen to yourself talk, and you'll know all there is to know.What Our Stories RevealYou've heard and told your share of stories, chatting with moms at the kids' swimming lessons, sitting in the middle seat on a long flight, or in the chair at the beauty salon. Why Do We Settle? You Have the POWER to Change the Outcome Why do we settle for less and then make excuses for everyone? Perhaps it is a way to avoid confrontation, or it could be that we simply don't have time, or choose not to deal with poor customer service and the boss who promised a raise that never quite made its way to our paycheck. Those are some of the possibilities, but there is another option- we settle, or make excuses, for others because we have given away our power to the other person involved in the equation. Law of Attraction - What You Project You Receive Do you know anyone who always seems to have bad luck? Nothing ever goes right for them. Conversely, have you observed people who always wind up OK despite what befalls them?What differentiates these two types of people? Their attitude, thoughts and actions are as different as day and night. How to Develop the Genius within You Inside each one of us there's a seed of greatness, a seed of genius. You are a special and complete human being and so is everyone else.
|
| home | index |site map |
| © 2006 |
