Golf Information

Golf Humor Poetry:- Ode to the Fanatical Golfer (Part One)


He wanted golf to be experienced by all, And hoped his daughter would heed the call. "C'mon!", he said. "You'll have a ball!" "Why?", she asked. "Are we going to the mall?"

He'd often take his golf cart to work, And all his co-workers there would smirk. He didn't know why, and thought, "They're jerks!" "How could they belittle such a perk?!"

His swing was big and grand, yet dopey, He cried and cried when he made a bogey. Kids thought, "What's wrong with this old fogey?" He thought, "I'm not old. I sport a goatee."

He loved his old and tattered bag, His caddie thought it was such a drag. But he hated more "golf cart tag", The golfer played with him, when he didn't move the flag!

Forever chasing the elusive par, He'd hit the ball straight and far. In the traps, his ball seemed stuck to tar! He'd still be there, when "parking" had narrey a car!

He loved the smell of the "fresh-cut green", But to him it proved such a fiend. It's favor to him, was always lean! Despite it's beauty, it could be so mean!

The point of golf? To put the ball in the hole. You do that with a "curved-end' pole. But the path, always guarded by a "troll", Or maybe yet, some "ticked-off" mole!

He was never any good in the traps, In fact, his "game" would always flap. But to others, it seemed to sit on their laps, While he was reduced to stomping his cap!

He'd read the "mags" to take his golf game higher. He wanted the best ball--best putter---best driver. Often going to his wife to borrow a "fiver", She wouldn't budge. No matter how hard he tried to "jive" her!

To the links, early morning he'd often travel, Sometimes his bathrobe and pajamas his only apparel. Unfortunately, the knot would often unravel, After jumping up and down at a lucky roll, he'd marvel!

Copyright 2005 by Kevin D. Rolle. All rights reserved.

My name is Kevin D. Rolle, and I have a site at http://www.golf-humor-asylum.com which is dedicated to the humorous and comedic aspects of golf, which are displayed through a fresh, exciting golf comic strip, and my commentary. Thanks.


MORE RESOURCES:

Kim, Villegas lead charge for PGA Tour's young stars
USA Today - 3 hours ago
Actually, Garcia arrived on golf's grand stage at 19 when he nearly chased down Tiger Woods at the 1999 PGA Championship and a month later was 3-1-1 as the ...
PGA Tour Commissioner Finchem to appear on Golf Channel tonight Examiner.com
Golf Channel HD Kicks Off With PGA Tour Television Week
Golf: Fiji's Vijay Singh to undergo knee surgery Channel News Asia
PR Newswire (press release) - Honolulu Star-Bulletin
all 416 news articles


Slippery Brick

How Can a GPS Help Your Golf Game? Ask Garmin
PC Magazine - 10 hours ago
The only thing caddies have to do is carry the bag. by Craig Ellison LAS VEGAS—If you want to slice a few strokes off of your golf game, Garmin's new ...
New Garmin GPS unit helps your golf game Slippery Brick
Garmin® Goes Golfing with Approach™ G5, New Touchscreen GPS Device ... WELT ONLINE
all 43 news articles


Disc golf referendum might face legal question
MSNBC - 7 hours ago
CHICO -- A referendum seeking to keep disc golf courses in upper Bidwell Park faces a legal issue that could potentially allow the Chico City Council to ...
City Council Changes Mind About Disc Golf Newstalk1290 KPAY
City Council Votes To Restore Disc Golf In Upper Bidwell Park KHSL
Council takes on disc golf again Enterprise-Record
KHSL - Enterprise-Record
all 9 news articles


Xerox Golf Classic Won’t Run This Year
13WHAM-TV, NY - 3 hours ago
(Rochester, NY) – Xerox has decided to drop its sponsorship of the PGA this year, and move those marketing dollars into other areas. ...
Xerox Classic golf tournament goes on hiatus Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Xerox Classic goes on hiatus for lack of sponsor The Associated Press
all 87 news articles


GolfDigest.com

Golf-Recovering Seve targets return as Royal Trophy captain
Reuters.uk, UK - 13 hours ago
BANGKOK, Jan 7 (Reuters) - Seve Ballesteros is planning to return to golf next year as captain of Europe's Royal Trophy team after starting rehabilitation ...
Olazabal: European skipper SkySports
Olazabal wary of Asian threat in golf showpiece Golfonline
Europe urged to win for Seve The Times
European Tour - guardian.co.uk
all 222 news articles


Troubled Collins Hill Golf Club open, but with ‘skeleton crew’
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 2 hours ago
By PATRICK FOX The Collins Hill Golf Club is still open, but things are no better than they were last month when the governing board asked the county to ...


Golf tips for Barack Obama
Los Angeles Times, CA - 3 hours ago
Barack Obama, a southpaw, will be the 15th US president to play golf, but Obama's game is nowhere close to being an amateur version of lefty Phil ...


Golf-Hawaiian delight for Els after tortuous flight
Reuters.uk, UK - 1 hour ago
By Mark Lamport-Stokes KAPALUA, Hawaii, Jan 7 (Reuters) - It took Ernie Els 26 hours to fly to Hawaii for this week's Mercedes-Benz Championship but he is ...
What they said: Ernie Els PGA Tour
all 3 news articles


Carbriwalk buys Mobile golf vacation firm
Bizjournals.com, NC - Jan 6, 2009
The Fairways, founded in 1990 in Mobile, sells golf vacations in North America. Terms of the acquisition were not disclosed. The company will be rebranded ...
Business Briefing Press-Register - al.com
all 4 news articles


Body Found Near Golf Course
KEYT, CA - 5 hours ago
Pismo Beach, CA-- The body of man was found Wednesday morning near the entrance to the Pismo Beach State Golf Course. San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's ...
Dead body found near Pismo Beach State Golf Course San Luis Obispo Tribune
Body discovered on the Pismo Beach State Golf Course KSBY
all 3 news articles

Golf - Google News

home | index |site map
© 2006