| |
| |
|
Grief & Loss Information |
|
|
|
The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger
It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. I was in shock. I was crying hysterically. But it was really just a phone call. My dad called and said he had to talk to my husband Jerry. I knew it was bad because Jerry hates to talk on the phone so no one ever asks for Jerry unless something bad is going on. I knew some elderly family members and friends were sick, so I thought one had died. I was right someone had died. But it was not an elderly person or even a sick person. It was my sister April. She was 33, a college graduate, a non drinker, non smoker, no drugs - nothing - just a little over weight. She had been getting ready for a Sunday School party and simply dropped dead. It was probably a heart attack. And that was when the shadow of death passed over my life like a freight train. Suddenly, from the middle of bright sun shiny Good Friday, I was in the valley of Baca. At some time or another I had heard a sermon based on a verse from Psalms 84:6 on the subject of "when passing through the valley of Baca (sorrow) dig a well. I had suddenly become a "well digger". The well I dug was really just "digging into God's word" and learning to believe His promises. I learned that God was with me because somehow He gave me the strength to read His word. Somehow He gave me strength to get up every morning and go through the day. He gave me strength to live each day. He gave me strength to begin to look toward the future. The first thing He showed me when I was looking toward the future was our eternal future. I "saw" heaven. I saw a very real place filled with very real people doing very real and wonderful things. I saw peace and joy. I saw love and excitement. I saw beauty without ugliness, pure love without any animosity. It was wonderful. Then from that vantage point I began to consider the immediate future and try to live each day as it came. Gradually it became more normal. There will always be an empty place in my life here on this earth because my sister's existence here is missed. Nothing could fill her place. But I know she is in heaven doing just fine. The Bible tells us. 1 Corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." April is in a place that is just too wonderful for us to even imagine. Knowing where she is does not fill the empty place she left here, but it does give great comfort that she really is ok. So - I miss her - but I am not without hope. On the firm foundation of God's promise - I will see her again and there will be no parting anymore. All this I learned from digging through the wonderful written message God gave us. The Bible became more real to me than ever before. It is a well of comfort and joy beyond anything we can imagine. Really the well is already dug. It is the Bible. We just have to dig through the verses to find what we need at the moment. My father in law recently died of cancer. He was the earthly patriarch of my husband's family. He was (and still is) loved deeply. His illness was hurtful to everyone because we didn't want to see him suffer and grow weaker. We didn't want him to leave this earth. We wanted all of us to abide in good health until the return of the Lord. But in leaving us here - we KNOW he went to the same place in which my sister now resides. I think they are laughing about the time April fell of my daughter's horse and rolled right up to my father in law's front door - and dented the screen door. The Bible says "we shall know as we are known" (I Cor. 13:12). We know the apostles knew Moses and Elijah at the transfiguration - even though they had never met them before. We will not only know our friends and loved ones - but others also! Before my father in law's death I had already come to terms with how wonderful heaven will be. My real sorrow is for the family who was left without him. Without his corny jokes and his onery way. Without his steady faithfulness in the daily things of life. For his wife of 64 years who was left alone and lost without him. But I have hope for the future. That future is more real than the here and now. The very thought of the reunion in heaven becomes more and more precious with the passing of each loved one. It also becomes more real each time. Sometimes I begin to wonder how thin the veil between heaven and earth really is. I don't know what you personally may be facing right now. No one knows what he or she may have to face in the future. But I do know the One who will be there to face it with you. I know He will not leave you nor forsake you. Of course there are many sorrows in life that don't involve a death but are still very painful. The way through any sorrow or trial is still the same. First you look to Jesus - the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Second you focus on the promises he has given you in the book he has provided for us. The Bible is chocked full of promises. I don't know what promise you will find the most helpful. That is why you must study the Word for yourself. There will be a verse that jumps from the page into your mind and brings you comfort as though it had been directly spoken to you and written thousands of years before just for you to read today. Third, you keep at it. Keep reading. Keep studying. Keep praying. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, keep going. I like to end an article by mentioning an old hymn that seems relevant to the subject if the article. I usually have a hard time deciding on the hymn because there are so many wonderful hymns. But this time it was easy. The hymn for the day is "Whispering Hope". "Whispering Hope - Oh how welcome thy voice." That relates so well to the still small voice that speaks - but it can be heard more easily than thunder by the child of God who is listening. God Bless YOU!! - Love Barbara WHISPERING HOPE WORDS Soft as the voice of an angel, http://ingeb.org/spiritua/whisperi.html Words & Music: Septimus Winner, 1868 (MIDI, score). Hymnals often list the author as Alice Hawthorne, one of Winner's several pseudonyms. Barbara Henderson
MORE RESOURCES:
Grief-Loss - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Why Does God Allow Suffering? Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. Pet Loss: Significant and Profound Loss or Much Ado about Nothing? For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal companions, the answer is obvious and yet disturbing. There are still far too many people in our culture who minimize and trivialize the loss of a pet. Dads, Life, and Death When he looked at me, it was clear my father wasn't sure who I was. And as I looked back at him, I wasn't sure who he was, either. An Unexpected Letter It was a couple of weeks after Christmas, and I was standing by my mailbox in the vestibule of the apartment building where I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, holding a letter I had just received. The handwriting was not familiar and neither was the return address, although it was postmarked Seattle, Washington, the same place where Hannah Paulson used to live. Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town. Loss Involves Change - The Transformative Power of Loss and Change There are many experiences in life, which remind us that change is an inevitable part of living. We then have to choose to either to resist this process or look for new ways of finding meaning in our lives. Adapting to the Loss of a Loved One: Three Tips on how to Cope Have you ever sat down and played a piano where one of the keys wasn't working? Or made cookies and left out an ingredient? Perhaps you've started listening to a favorite CD, and just when it gets to your favorite part of your favorite song, you realize that there is a scratch in it.In some ways, losing a loved one is similar. Death, Close and Personal I got an email recently from someone whose mother died. She knew I'd suffered the loss of my mother and wanted some insight on how to deal with it. When The Spirit Leaves The Body Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I'm talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside of your body.What does it even mean to "be outside" of one's body? Well, in order to appreciate what this means you must have an experience of your "Self" first and then you must be able to "feel" where that "Self" is geographically speaking. Pope John Paul II WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am not a Catholic, but I felt a deep loss when Pope John Paul II took ill and then died. That's what happens to us with public people--we connect with them even if we didn't know them. Sympathy Flowers Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family. Whens Sarah Coming Home? Helping Your Child Understand Death For most children, their first experience with grief comes with the death of a beloved family pet. When Zoe the eight-week old puppy dies of parvovirus or Tweety the budgie stops singing his morning song, a child experiences profound and lasting loss for the first time in their young lives. Lessons We Learned From Terri Schiavo Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I was. Men and Grief Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Angel of Comfort... The Story I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while listening to the late night news, a news story came on that really touched my heart. On the way home in the wedding limo . Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22, 2003, I was visiting with my son Brian Michael (http://www. Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. Guilty, Your Honor: The Burden of Guilt After a Suicide Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you did it? Have you ever done something so bad that even remembering what you did causes you to hyperventilate and shake?I have. Dying? Not Me! Why You Should Plan for Transition Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in High School? Death is a tough subject to broach, and many would rather deny death then embrace it. Someone once said, ". We are the Reflection of our Lives: How to Survive Loss & Humility Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief.
|
| home | index |site map |
| © 2006 |