Holidays Information

Unique Gift Ideas for the 21st Century


As a personal growth specialist, I like to think I'm hip. I like to think I am avant garde. I like to think I am on the cutting edge - despite what everyone else around thinks about me.

I read last year that the growth sector of the future is in healthcare and wellness. So, being the hip, avant garde, cutting edge kind of guy I think I am, I decided I would give very unique and personal healthcare birthday gifts.

For Aunt Marsha, I settled on a facelift. I was so excited, I just couldn't wait to see her face. Either the old one or the new one would do.

"What's this?"

"It's an appointment for a facelift."

"A facelift?

"Yes. Next week."

"An appointment for a facelift? Next week?"

"That's right."

"This can mean one of only two things..."

"What two things, Aunt Marsha?"

"Either you think I am uglier than a bearded manatee with blow torch burns..."

"Oh no, Aunt Marsha. You are as beautiful as a graceful flamingo with blow torch burns."

"...or you foresee me seeking shelter under the witness protection program. What is it you think I saw, and who do you think wants to do me in?"

"Well, when I was ten years old, you saw me scribble all over my brother's baseball cards. I got in a whack of trouble, so I suppose I could be a suspect."

"I somehow doubt I have anything to fear from you, except the threat of receiving another gift. Just what do you think you were thinking?"

"I know you don't need a facelift yet, Aunt Marsha. But someday when you get all old and withered and crumbly and crinkly, a few months from now...BANG!"

When I came to, I remembered a frying pan lunging at me to plant a kiss on my lips.

For my buddy, I settled on a different gift, although still quite unique and personal.

"What?!?"

"Hey, these tickets are very hard to come by. You should be thrilled that I secured an appointment for you."

"But I don't need open heart surgery. My heart is ticking along just fine."

"Sure it is - right now. But someday you might need open heart surgery, so you might as well take it now and get it over with. That way you'll have it when you need it."

"Open heart surgery isn't something you just take and save for later. You can't place it in a box or in a safe somewhere."

"Whoa, Buddy. Cool your tonsils a moment. I considered getting you a lobotomy, but I worried about wasting my money...you know, in case they didn't find anything. "

Never let it be said that this personal growth specialist doesn't learn from his success. This year I read that the entertainment industry is the growth sector of the future. So, being the hip, avant garde, cutting edge kind of guy I think I am, I decided I would give hip, avant garde, cutting edge entertainment gifts.

I thought about some of my personal favorites. Unfortunately I could not find in the Yellow Pages any singing Gumby balloon-a-grams. I considered getting Aunt Marsha 1,000 self-destructing, ketchup-filled pink flamingo lawn ornaments with pirate hats, but I was not sure how to place them in the apartment corridor. Toenail clippers always bring me hours of entertainment, but I had no idea which of my family members have toe nails.

In the end, I settled on this column. Hey, it's humor, it's personal growth, it's entertainment. And you have to admit that it is unique. I printed a copy out for each of them. And guess what? I think it was a success. Each one opened up their gift, looked at it, looked up at me, looked back at the gift, looked back up at me and said, "Very funny!"

If you don't want to end up like me, why not get your relatives a dog gift or a horse-themed gift or an angel gift from Unique Gift Ideas at: http://www.unique-gift-ideas.ws . They do NOT sell facelifts. After all, people love unique gift ideas, but not quite that unique.

About The Author

The author is freelance writer David Leonhardt.

Sign up for his weekly humor column up at: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Or read more personal growth columns at: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html.

info@thehappyguy.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Queen Latifah Ready to Shed Holiday Pounds
People Magazine - 13 hours ago
"I'm glad I re-signed [with Jenny Craig] because I had a little fun over the holidays, as most people do," says Latifah, 38, who announced this month that ...
Queen Latifah Ready to Shed Holiday Pounds TheCelebrityCafe.com
The 35th People's Choice Awards With Queen Latifah eFluxMedia
all 382 news articles


DUI arrests up during recent holiday period
MSNBC - 8 hours ago
Arrests of allegedly intoxicated drivers over the holiday period ending Jan. 1 were up in most north state communities compared to 2007. ...
Police double DUI arrests over holidays Bristol Press
all 13 news articles


Recession, bad weather pummel Trans World's holidays
Schenectady Gazette, NY - 12 hours ago
By James Schlett (Contact) GUILDERLAND — The holiday season opened a Pandora’s box at Trans World Entertainment, which saw sales during that period take a ...
Trans World holiday sales plunge on economy, weather Video Business (subscription)
all 23 news articles


Food banks provide for the hungry long after the holidays have passed
Lakeville Journal (subscription), CT - 5 hours ago
By WHITNEY JOSEPH HARLEM VALLEY — The holidays may be over, but the need among area food lockers is still great. Too often those needs slip into the ...


MLive.com

Fishing away through the holidays
MLive.com, MI - 7 hours ago
by Jeff Barr | Kalamazoo Gazette KALAMAZOO -- Don't you love Thursday holidays? Christmas and New Year's were both on Thursday this year, and it makes for a ...


Retailers Pull Back Holiday Search Spend
Adweek, NY - 7 hours ago
NEW YORK Retailers put the brakes on search ad spending as the holidays neared, according to a new study. SearchIgnite, a provider of search marketing ...
US Retailers Increase Paid Search Spend, Adjust Strategies Amidst ... Business Wire (press release)
Retailers Increase Paid Search Spend WebProNews
all 14 news articles


The Southern Ledger

Steinberg says Democrats could vote to eliminate state holidays
Sacramento Bee,  USA - 7 hours ago
... lawmakers to permanently eliminate two paid holidays and change holiday overtime rules for state workers Steinberg noted that state employee contracts ...
Video: Governor Critical Of Democrats Over Budget kcratv
Governor's Veto Leaves Uncertainty in Growing Budget Crisis California Progress Report
All the news you missed over the holidays Sacramento Bee
Sacramento Bee
all 540 news articles


Big Brothers Big Sisters Bring Holiday Magic To Children's Lives
The Manchester Times, NJ - 9 hours ago
By Keith Hagarty What is normally your typical upscale banquet facility and restaurant/ lounge was transformed into a child's holiday delight when La Bove ...


letsrecycle.com

Recycle your holiday waste
News & Observer, NC - 17 hours ago
The City of Raleigh is making it easy for its residents to "go green" in the post-holiday season by collecting discarded natural Christmas trees at the curb ...
After holidays, recycling grows or: 'Tis the season for recycling St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Holidays are over, what now? Zanesville Times Recorder
Xmas Tree to Ex-mas Tree Washington Post
KESQ
all 131 news articles


Lake Tahoe resorts report good holiday numbers
Sierra Sun, CA - 11 hours ago
Local resorts prove it's possible, reporting a strong holiday turnout By Nick Cruit Diamond Peak patrons enjoy the lodge’s upstairs seating area midday last ...

Holidays - Google News

home | index |site map
© 2006