| |
| |
|
Humor Information |
|
|
|
Tales of a Spectator Spectator
Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race . This world of characters can be categorized into three groups according to their interest in the game. These three main groups may then be divided into several subgroups. The first group is the TBFs, which is short for "True Baseball Fans." These are mostly individuals who are not part of families or clubs who came to the game together. TBFs only leave their seats between innings and are, for the most part, completely focused on the game. They pay little attention to what goes on in the stands and couldn't care less for the promotional events. TBFs can be found within social organizations and families, but they come for one reason and only one reason: because they enjoy baseball and actually know the players. Within the TBFs, you find the Statues, who are older men who sit still in their seats the entire game, uttering only the occasional cheer, boo, or "Call 'em, Blue!" They are old-school fans who could probably tell you about watching Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays play. Most Statues complain about how commercialized and business- oriented the game has become, and prefer the minor leagues to the majors. Statues are as much a fixture at the ballyard as the seventh inning stretch. It would take a wrecking ball to the stadium or a fire to move them from their seats. In contrast to the Statues, the rabid Hecklers cannot resist a single opportunity to hurl insults at players, managers, coaches, and, most often, umpires. There are only a handful of Hecklers at most games, but there is one who has a reserved seat in the front row right behind home plate, ideal for giving the home plate ump a piece of his mind in the rudest manner imaginable. He doesn't speak very loudly, but if you're in his section, you hear his caustic remarks on every missed call. I sat behind this prototypical Heckler one game when the umpire made several calls unfavorable to the home team. His mouth ran nonstop, like a one-sided conversation with no response from the object of verbal abuse. (Umps must be required not to respond to fans unless their safety is threatened.) Count on Hecklers at any sporting event, although some youth leagues are cracking down on fans who don't behave themselves. The rare YEBF, or Young Enthusiastic Baseball Fan, is under 30 and appreciates both the game of baseball and the spectacle of attending the event. I count myself among this group. We are a little more interested in off-field or promotional events than Statues, but tend focus ourselves primarily on the sporting event at hand. Most YEBFs cheer very loudly for the home team when they get a hit or make a good pitch or defensive play, and boo when appropriate, but tend not to be as insulting as Hecklers. Most YEBFs will come to a game whenever it's convenient, some even have reserved seats or ticket books. Sadly, baseball is rapidly losing fans in my age range. Who knows what will happen when the Statues pass on... The final and most abundant subcategory is the MAFIF (Middle-Aged, Fairly Interested Fan). These mostly range in age from 30 to 50, are usually married and bring their spouses to the games, and tend to talk with them a fair amount, mostly about baseball. Some even bring their children (primarily sons) who tend to be less interested, but probably will become TBFs as they get older. MAFIFs like to just take in and enjoy the game more than interact with the players and umpires. A MAFIF might tell a Heckler to quiet down, even though they may quietly agree with the Heckler's sentiments. Baseball has a greater percentage of middle-aged fans than most other sports, but like YEBFs, you can find them at other stadiums and fields. One interesting and diverse bunch I guarantee you will find at every single minor- league game are the TEs, "Team Employees." They are always at the game because they get paid to be there, and most have a fun time with it. Some, however, like the ushers, custodians, ticket-takers and those who serve food and drinks at the concession stands, are not into the game and seem not to have a lot of fun, including the mobile vendors who must yell "Peanuts, get your peanuts here!" Ushers, as an example, are more focused on making sure people stay in their seats, avoid safety risks, and refrain from sitting in the wrong section. But those who have the most fun at the games work in the pressbox, like the radio commentator, the newspaper reporters, the sound effects technicians, the PA announcer, and folks who work in the PR department. These last three groups have the most fun of them all.(1) The regular PA announcer at my hometown ballpark is the voice, informer, and chief entertainer of the crowd. He gets to participate in most of the on-field promotions, along with the PR folks, but he mostly sits in front of the pressbox, regaling the crowd with his own brand of post-modernist humor, aimed more at the average adult than at kids or real baseball fans. The group that forms most of the crowd at the average game is the TWBPSE (pronounced twa-BIP-see), "Those for Whom Baseball is a Primarily Social Experience." Three subgroups are Families, SOs, and UKs. TWBPSEs only pay attention to the game when something big happens or when there is a rally going on. Otherwise, they talk, eat, drink, and walk around the stadium. Baseball seems to serve better as pleasant background for a social evening than any other sport, so for a TWBPSE, minor-league baseball is tailor-made for conversation, unlike sports ruled by the timeclock that demand constant watchfulness. Baseball rewards close attention, but forgives occasional diversions. You'll find many families at minor-league games because the games are billed as good family entertainment, which they are. In fact, most families are there more for the entertainment aspect than for the actual baseball game. There are rare exceptions, like parents who are TBFs and who try to instill their love of the game in their kids. But most families find games to be a relatively inexpensive, exciting and out-of-the-ordinary afternoon or evening of fun that gives their kids a different and enriching experience of the world. Here's an example of a conversation you might hear within a family group wherein the father is a TBF: Father: Christy, see that man right there with the bat in his hand? He's
trying to hit the ball with it, hoping to run around and touch all the bases. You will find members of SOs, or Social Organizations, at most games. SO members can be coworkers (usually in a company that sponsors the team and has reserved seats), members of religious groups, youth groups, or nonprofit groups. Most of these organizations are present because they get discount admission or some special package that usually includes a pre-game picnic. For SOs, the game is purely intended to be a time for eating, drinking, and socializing. On Advertiser Appreciation Nights or other times when certain groups get discounts, you'll usually have bigger crowds, but most of the noise they make is just in talking amongst themselves. They may react when something big happens on the field, but the game mostly provides a nice backdrop for their conversation. Here's a sample conversation within a business group: Sam: What do you think about our stock options at this point? There are two subgroups within SOs. First are the TFBMs, "Thanks For Bringing Me," who come with their organization and really enjoy the experience of minor league baseball, but are not motivated enough to go on their own. They are truly happy to be there and you often hear them lamenting, "Why don't I do this more often?" TFBMs are a significant target group for most teams' advertising campaigns. Second are the DKAS, "Dragged Kicking and Screaming." These are mostly kids or adults who may enjoy themselves, but wouldn't be there in a million years if it was left up to them. They are unlikely to come back unless dragged again with their group. The final group makes up the minority of TWBPSE. The Uninterested Kids, or UKs, consists of 7 to 16-year-olds who view the stadium simply as a cool place to hang out, eat junk food, drink soda and meet other kids. UKs may or may not be there with their families. They may be there with a youth group, but they often choose not to sit with them the entire game. Mostly, they walk around the stadium in small groups or stand in the aisles in the main concourse or between the stands and field and chat about all manner of things, never baseball. Some UKs may stand and wait for foul balls but not be interested in the game unless a ball comes their way. Going to get food between innings can sometimes be an adventure, having to wind your way around groups of UKs standing around and chatting. If you want to see for yourself just what I mean, you can go to your local minor- league stadium. Any event that is entertaining to watch and be a part of but can also be followed by more dedicated people will usually feature this kind of spectator breakdown. Scope out the social scene next time you're at a sporting event. People-watching is just as fun as watching the game, and you may actually find yourself enjoying both. Malcolm M. Kenton is a sophomore and full-time student at Guilford College in Greensboro, North Carolina, who is majoring in Environmental Studies and Political Science. When he is not at a Greensboro Grasshoppers' game, he enjoys advocating animal protection and environmental causes, politics, computers, and reading and writing. He was the editor of his high-school newspaper and has had op-ed articles published in the Greensboro News & Record.
MORE RESOURCES:
Humor - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank.. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. 3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. Space, and the Room for It Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs. Freudian Slippage Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market to get our supply of fruits and veggies, leaving Sandra to sleep in. Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being ditzy and mean. However, there are a great many life-lessons that can be learned during your time on the team that have surprising application in the business world. Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way. New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05 Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? - Former StudentPoor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part. He Had It Coming, Your Honor This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling estate, I realized that my life is just way too laid back. Cloning Advantage Super Families As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one's own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind's greatest drivers of motivation. Internet is My True Agent You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grandmother was alive. Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians "Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer. 11 Alternative Garden Games Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Weary of boring badminton and jarts? Croquet not your style? Then you're in the right spot! Here are games sure to make your next party the hit of the gardening social season!Icebreakers Game #1: The Gnat Slap Equipment required: A garden of any size. As your guests arrive, invite them for the obligatory 'stroll through the garden'. When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. How to Build a Cobblestone House He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860. A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. Voodoo Munchies Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness.
|
| home | index |site map |
| © 2006 |
